I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
