i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The power of my boobs compel you
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
