all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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