okay pat passed out under dana's car
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
