I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
