Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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