maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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