I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
