Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
