i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
