girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
