His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
