ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I have grass duct taped all over my body
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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