Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
