well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You took a bar mat shot.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
