I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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