We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
my being single is dangerous.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
