You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
