I don't think brook has ever known best
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
