I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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