Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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