Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Boobs are out for the taking
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
