I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Soap is not a condiment
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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