I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
