oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
