He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
