Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
