So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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