Whod you bang
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
