I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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