why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
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