I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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