I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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