It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
