it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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