Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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