i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
