All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
