Sponge bath it is.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
