M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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