i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize