Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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