So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My ATM looks so different sober.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
