Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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