Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
