I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
