lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Randomize