i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
