The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
