i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I believe in your delicious
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
