It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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