I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
