OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
