i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
