Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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