I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
