I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
And then my night got REAL pukey
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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