That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Randomize
