I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
