In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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