After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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