It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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