I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
