Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
