i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize