Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
